This week, I think I may have made the most perfect steakburger I’ve ever attempted.

I pan fried them in olive oil and just at the last moment placed a glistening slice of cheese on the top so it could meld itself to the burger, fitting perfectly.

Out in the backyard, my 5-year-old son ate an orange Popsicle while I took photos of this masterpiece.

“Whatcha doin’, Mommy?”

“Taking pictures of this beautiful burger.”

(What? Doesn’t every mom take pictures of their dinner before they serve it to their family?)

“It looks like sunshine on a mountain,” he said. “And there’s the grass. And a red swimming pool.”

Classic. Now THAT is why you have kids, people. They show you new ways of looking at things you’ve seen a thousand times before.

It made me teary-eyed that he had put so much thought into this. This steakburger had created a real MOMENT between us.

Then, my precious son pummeled his empty Popsicle stick at a rabbit that had the misfortune of hopping through our yard at that exact moment.

That bunny was just trying to live his life, man. Sheesh.

But the moment was good for the 30 seconds it lasted.

We went inside to eat our sunshine-on-the-mountain burgers and the innocent stick that had been turned into a lethal weapon went promptly into the garbage.

But that’s life in the ‘burbs for ya. Go tough or go home, Thumper.

Ed Levine knows good food.  And this Labor Day weekend I plan to cook some burgers for friends and family.

I don’t want to mess this up . . . so he’s going to help. Why on earth would you chance ruining a perfectly great burger???

Here are his warnings against making the 6 most common ways to ruin a burger.

1. Not Sticking to Salt Plus Beef: Use Kosher salt (and pepper!) on both sides of the beef patty before slapping it onto the grill. Salt is a glorious thing for red meat-it draws out the natural juices and helps with the charring. Try to avoid turkey, bison or other alternative meat options, which have a much higher risk of moisture and flavor deficiency. Don’t get crazy here, just stick with beef. Motz even says, “if it’s not beef, it’s not a burger.” Here is Bobby Flay’s recipe for the perfect beef burger.

2. Bad Beef-to-Bun Balance: There’s no hard-and-fast ratio for beef-to-bun balance. It’s like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in ?Jacobellis v. Ohio (1964) “I know it when I see it.” In the case of beef-to-bun balance, taste it. Beef-to-bun balance all depends on your patty size. If you’re cooking up a thin patty, don’t use a jumbo bun-you don’t want a mouthful of bread and hardly any meat, do you? When in doubt, make your patties bigger or stack a double burger. It’s bettern to err on the side of more meat.

3. Condiment Overload: Building a burger with “everything” is a huge mistake. Avoid the garbage pail approach. In most cases, going beyond onion and ketchup (arguably the most popular condiment) masks the beef taste and creates an absurd flavor profile. Seriously, a pastrami burger? Pastrami is not a condiment. However, we will make one exception for Fatty Melts-when grilled cheeses become condiments.

4. Wasting Precious Burger Juices: If you’re cooking the burgers over a flame, pressing down on them will send the precious meat juices straight into the coals. Those juices are valuable-they belong in your mouth. While it’s very tempting to apply pressure with a spatula, don’t. Unless you want a dry hockey puck. Sometimes they do it on TV, but just close your eyes.

5. Overcooking: This should be a crime recognized by the federal government. For the popular medium-rare, grill the meat exactly three minutes on one side (keeping the grill lid closed) and two minutes on the other. If you’re going to add cheese, let it melt on top for another minute (and keep that cover closed!).  We like our burgers medium rare, so much we’ve even sent them back at restaurants when they go beyond medium.

6. Machine-Formed Patties: If you really want to ruin your burger, try a machine-formed frozen patty! No, don’t. While making every ingredient from scratch is not necessary (see: Heston Blumenthal’s Blumenburger) try to form your own patties from ground chuck (80 percent lean is good) purchased at your nearest market or better yet, butcher.

Photo and excerpt courtesy of food.yahoo.com.

Remember how I wasn’t sure if my photos would do the cute little mini steakburgers justice? You know, the ones I grilled at the beach?

Well, check this out . . .

I think they turned out all right!!!

The combination of the gorgeous slider and the beautiful beachy sunlight made this a PERFECT meal. And photo. This was just taken on a white plate out on the balcony.

I was pretty sure I couldn’t mess up the grilling on these little guys. And I was right about that. I whipped out my George Foreman Lean Mean Grillin’ Machine and our little condo was filled with such an amazing smell. All I did was salt and pepper them. That’s it! The kids played as these babies sizzled and everyone kept asking, “Are they ready yet?”

They had been delivered to my door the day before and it was so nice to not have to hunt through the local supermarket’s selection of beef. We’ve been to this resort town before and it’s often iffy at best.

My kids loved how small and cute the sliders were. We bought Hawaiian rolls, sliced them in half and we had the perfect little buns for our mini steakburgers.

What a treat to have these little guys delivered to us halfway across the country!

Seriously, one of our absolute favorite aspects of a vacation is cooking great meals at night. We take the time to savor the experience of cooking and eating.

These sliders were so fun and flavorful. And to me, that’s what life’s about.